


Hers & Hers

by Creative_Cloud



Category: f(x)
Genre: Dating, F/F, Fluff, Fun, Other, some sensuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-17 23:22:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10604415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creative_Cloud/pseuds/Creative_Cloud
Summary: Amber finally invites you over to her place for a fun, relaxing day.





	1. Chapter 1

Finally, finally Amber had a day off. You two had been planning a day together for weeks, but with f(x)’s comeback showcase and your own increased workload, there hadn’t been much time for you two to hang out alone. It had only been a few months since you two had started dating, but sparks had flown from the very first time you met. You were at the SM studio, waiting for Jonghyun to give you his jacket for repairs, when Amber casually strolled into the room. She started saying something to you, but everything stopped in that one moment. You couldn’t believe someone this gorgeous was even looking in your direction, let alone talking to you. Jonghyun called your name, snapping you out of your reverie, and told Amber your name and that you were there to do some work on his outfit for his new MV. Amber took your hand, giving you a firm but warm handshake, sending chills up your arm. You introduced yourself, stumbling over your words, voice shaking from nervousness. Amber’s whole body shook with laughter, grin stretching from ear to ear. God, you could listen to that all day, put it on a track and play it on repeat. She asked what you were doing later, and you said your schedule was open. The two of you made plans to visit the noodle place down the street, and that was how the two of you ended up on your first date.

Fast forward a few months, and Amber has finally invited you over to her apartment. She’s always been sort of private, careful about who she lets into her life. She’s been hurt before, and she’s not crazy about letting it happen again. She sees something in you, though, a quiet yet powerful presence she craves in her life. You step up to her apartment door, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you wait for her smiley face to answer the door.

“Hey babe!” Amber exclaims, excitement transforming her exhausted face.

She leads you into her apartment, pointing out each of her tiny rooms as you pass them. Her kitchen is small but practical, her studio room is rigged out to the max, and her bedroom is comfy and cozy. She leads you to her bed and gestures for you to sit down. This was a bit too intimate too fast, but Amber giggles when she sees the look on your face and nods at the TV on the wall. She has an episode of Running Man on, humor her best defense against awkwardness. You two cuddle into the pillows, sides aching as you watch the cast members make fools of themselves. Your stomach grumbles, and Amber suggests you two go make some snacks.

She takes your hand and leads you to the kitchen, electricity flowing through you from just the simplest touch. She bought loads of snacks just for the occasion, crackers and chips and cookies filling up her pantry. Amber wants to make you something special, though, and so grabs the peanut butter and marshmallow fluff and loaf of bread. You two set up next to each other, four slices of bread laid out with the jars between you. As you spread the peanut butter on one of your slices, a bubble of laughter emerges from your right. When you look at Amber to see what’s so funny, she smears some marshmallow fluff on the tip of your nose. You faintly gasp, mouth gaping in a mock surprise. Amber can’t stop giggling, doubled over in pain from the sight of you. Honestly, sometimes you don’t know what you did to deserve such an amazing person. When Amber finally straightens up, you suddenly kiss her, one hand on her waist and one hand on the back of her neck. Her laughter dies in her throat, as lust and love and passion change her features. You pull away, wanting to see your effect, and Amber is the image of desire. Mouth slightly moist and parted, eyes full blown and wide, deep blush coloring her cheeks. You reach a hand to touch her cheek, to feel the heat radiating there, and Amber simply watches you, memorizing your picture perfect face. She carefully takes your hand in hers, squeezing it with reassurance and leads you to her bedroom. Nothing is more pure and honest than this love, the kind borne from honesty and trust.

This day is etched in your mind, the first day you can really say you fell in love.


	2. Mrs. & Mrs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marriage isn't something you ever saw yourself committing to, and the love of your life might not even be able to change your mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so so much to my amazing friend and beta, @lily_zen for taking time out of her day to read my work and offer feedback. I couldn't've done it without her. <3

The day had come; the day you never thought would come, because you had sworn since you were seven that you would never get married.

 

* * *

 

 

It had all started about a year ago when Amber proposed, softly and quietly, in the living room of your shared apartment. You two were cuddling under your favorite cashmere blanket, some cable show running on the TV. Fingers intertwined, breathing in sync, you two were the picture of happiness. The next commercial that came on, Amber turned the volume down and sat up straighter. The distance that came with the motion gave you a sense of loss, like something had been ripped out from inside you. Something was off, and you could sense the tension building in the room like a dog senses a storm.  

 

“Phew, okay,” Amber blew out, hands wringing. Clearly, something heavy was on her mind.

 

“What’s wrong, honey?” you ask, a million different scenarios running through your mind, most of them tragic and unlikely.

 

“It’s nothing bad, I promise!” Amber stumbled through. “There’s just something I want to ask you, and I want your honest answer.” She was never one for speeches, usually preferring to sing her emotions, but this was obviously something she needed to say.

 

She looked a wreck, and you knew whatever she was holding back was killing her. You drew her hands in yours. Taking a deep breath, and looking her in the eyes, you said, “I’m ready. Ask me.”

 

“Ah well, okay, the thing is, I was wondering if you—”

 

You grasped her hands tighter, encouraging her to go on.

 

“Well, will you marry me?” she finally posed, eyes searching your face for the no she was already anticipating.

 

You two had talked about marriage before, about whether or not you wanted to, and you had made it clear that you didn’t think you wanted to. You came from a family that wasn’t always so accepting, and this just didn’t feel that important a milestone to hit. Amber said she would probably marry if she found the right person, but it had never been a big deal either way. That’s why this was surprising you so much, why you didn’t have an immediate reaction. _Would_ you want to marry her? Why was she even asking? Why now?

 

“I knew I shouldn’t’ve asked. I know how you feel about marriage, but I thought maybe what we have was different, that maybe I could show you we were different,” Amber rambled, eyes glistening from the overload of anxiety.

 

“Hold on,” you stopped her. “Just take a deep breath. I haven’t said anything.”

 

You closed your eyes, needing that little bit of separation from the situation to clear your head. You love her, you really do. So what was holding you back?

 

“You know I don’t believe that some words on a certificate are what bind us forever, right?” you clarify, reiterating the argument you’d made to others before. Most people blew you off as some “liberal millennial” who spent too much time on Tumblr. You did, in fact, spend way too much time on Tumblr, but that was beside the point. You had felt this way for quite some time, believing that it is the emotional and spiritual bond between two people that keep them together, not the ceremony or certificate or ritual.

 

“Of course, I know that. We’ve talked about it before, but I’ve realized that it’s something that’s important to me. I’ve grown up wanting to wait at the end of the aisle for my beautiful bride; I’ve daydreamed about how radiant she’ll look in her beautiful gown,” she recounted, her words laced with a confusing amount of venom, like you were ruining her perfect dream of you two.

 

“Well, _this_ is important to me. I’m not sure how I feel about this, any of this. I kinda thought we were on the same page, but I guess not? I don’t know. I don’t think this is something I want,” you firmly stated. You didn’t see how this got so out of hand so fast, but this conversation was doomed like a runaway train that you didn’t know how to stop.

 

“And what about my feelings? Don’t they count for anything?” Amber hurled, knowing full well how much you cared for her and her feelings. “How am I not something you want?”

 

“I thought this was about what _we_ wanted,” you barked. “I’m suddenly feeling like the bad guy here.”

 

This was one of the—no, _the_ biggest arguments you had ever had with her. Adrenaline pumping and clouding your mind, so many awful words were tumbling out of your mouth. You’d never seen Amber look so angry; it was normally pretty hard to get her riled up. But now, it was no holds barred.

 

“You’re feeling like the bad guy?! I think _I’ve_ been actually turned into the bad guy!” Amber retorted. “This was supposed to be a good thing, and now I feel like an asshole.”

 

“Maybe it’s because you are an asshole,” you quipped, tears streaming down your face. “Have you ever considered that maybe we won’t last forever? What if we get married, and none of it works out? What are we going to do then? Get divorced? And then what’s going to happen when—”

 

“Stop, stop stop,” Amber soothed, pulling you close as you began to fall apart. You were starting to come down from the adrenaline rush, and all you could do was let yourself be held.

 

“ I didn’t want to turn this into an argument,” Amber defended, sounding wounded but also worried. “I understand that this wasn’t what you thought our relationship would be like, but I just want you to consider all your options. I’ll give you plenty of time to think about. Maybe I went about it the wrong way, but I do think it’s something we need to discuss _together_.”

 

You sighed, curling in on yourself just as you did every time you were feeling vulnerable and unsure.

 

“Okay? Come back to me when you’re ready, whatever the answer may be. I mean that,” Amber compromised, tentatively placing a kiss on your forehead in an attempt to cool things down.

You let yourself be kissed, taking in yet another cleansing breath and giving her a meaningful smile.

 

That night, you both tossed and turned, but you watched Amber’s breathing slow as she eventually drifted off to sleep. Instead of following her into dreamland, you rolled out of bed and walked out to your patio.

 

The cool air chilled the sweat on your back, sending chills all over your body. You leaned over the railing separating the landing from the rest of the backyard, neck tightening up with frustration and anxiety. Everything is always more peaceful at night. The full moon glimmered right above you, sending a fuzzy spotlight all around you. Crickets chirped their synchronized symphony, and the occasional owl hoot accented to ominous song. So much the darkness holds, so many possibilities it hides in its shadows. Your hands cradled your face as you attempted to tune out a world so confusing and vast.

 

Every emotion was taking its turn driving your brain: you were mad that Amber wasn’t more sensitive about your feelings and beliefs, but you were also confused about how you actually felt. Was getting married really all that bad, especially since you felt that you and Amber had such a strong bond anyways? Then again, all those people who told you you would get married would be right and rub it in your face. Was that a good enough reason to refuse the proposal? Most marriages didn’t seem to work out anymore. Just look at your own parents. Fifteen years they had been together, and it all ended six years ago. If they couldn’t make it, how were you going to?  So many thoughts swirled in your head, thoughts so loud that you didn’t even hear Amber come up behind you to wrap her arms around your waist. You squealed in surprise but leaned into her comforting touch.

 

“Babe, I don’t want this to be something that destroys our relationship,” Amber confessed, fingers tangling with yours. She always knew what was on your mind, sometimes even before you did.

 

“I know, and I know you have feelings about this too,” you acknowledged. “But I just want to make sure we’re doing this for us, not for any other reason.”

 

“And I think we are, or would,” Amber slowly turned you towards her. “I love you so, so much, and I just want to take that final step. Not because of tradition, or some semblance of it, but because it would symbolize all that makes us special. The ceremony would be for us; the honeymoon would be for us; the legality of it would be for _us_. I want to bring us that millimeter closer, and I’m sorry if it seemed like I had any other agenda.”

 

“I’m sorry, too, for what I said earlier. I was just so furious that you thought you could change my mind,” you confessed. You were always so stubborn when it came to people telling you what you can and can’t do. Nobody was going to tell you what to do with your body, your life, or your love.

 

“And I’m sorry I thought I could,” Amber apologized, eyes downcast and full of regret. “I just love you so much, more than anyone I’ve ever met, including the time I got to meet Ruby Rose on the red carpet.”

 

You both laughed, a feeling so nice you couldn’t stop it. It was the sort of laugh that goes for ages, without real reason or rhyme. It was cleansing and therapeutic, and when you both finally stopped, streams of good tears stained your faces.

 

“I love you to the moon and back,” Amber professed.

 

Your heart was bursting at the seams, and all you could do was bury your face into her neck. Sob after sob racked your chest, all that love that Amber was radiating was making it hard to breathe, in a good way. After all you had been through: the self-doubt, the family problems, the looks and stares in public, and she still wanted to be with you. Now you could see what Amber saw, why she wanted to tie that final knot. You didn’t think you could feel any closer to her, and yet…

 

“I was so nervous to ask you,” Amber confessed. “Not because I thought you would say no, even though I should’ve foreseen that, but because I thought I was asking too much of you. When I first met you, I never dreamed of the life we’ve been able to build together, and getting married just feels right for us, you know?”

 

“I think I see that now,” you sniffled, “And I think I know what my answer is.”

 

“And what is that, buttercup?” Amber murmured with a grin.

 

“Yes, yes, yes,” you exclaimed. “Yes, Amber Liu, I will marry you.”

 

You could only describe the look on Amber’s face as pure radiance, liquid moonlight cast in the mold of the most beautiful girl in the world.

 

* * *

 

 

The day had come, the day you never thought would come because you had sworn since you were seven that you would never get married.

 

Now, you couldn’t wait to get down the aisle. You both decided that it would be an outdoor wedding located at your favorite park complete with a glistening lake, real swans, and the cutest ducks. Amber always says being outdoors always makes her feel like nothing could go wrong, and somehow, you have to agree. The whole setup was small and intimate: the gazebo held the signature book, the altar was adorned with candles and lace, and there were just enough seats for all your invited guests. Your parents even made it to the ceremony, though they barely spoke two words to each other. Feeling the wind in your hair, the smell of freshly cut grass, and hearing the laughter of all your friends and family, all made this day perfect.

 

Your outfit was everything you had ever wanted it to be. Just the right balance of soft fabric and sharp cuts, with a little bit of pink and a little bit of cream sewn together in intricate patterns. Surprisingly, your mom had gathered a whole group of family friends to help you pick it out, and the love and support you felt seared love into your bones. This was going to be an amazing day.

 

The sun was shining, just at the edge of warm and sunburn status. It would’ve been nicer to wear less layers, but, overall, it was the perfect weather for a wedding. Plus, the ice cream bar planned for dessert would cool everyone down in a jiffy. Amber had insisted on chocolate, but it was the chocolate chip cookie dough you were most looking forward to. And the best part? You got to take home whatever you wanted afterwards. Maybe weddings were good for something after all.

 

As you stood behind the bridal party, waiting for your turn down the aisle, you became nervous, wondering exactly when and where you would be tripping down the aisle. Because you would be, exactly as you did in all your nightmares. Amber had assured you time and again that you wouldn’t, but that was no defense against the anxiety that plagued your mind.

 

“Don’t worry,” Jonghyun soothed, lightly grasping your forearm. “You’re not gonna fall.”

 

“You talked to Amber, didn’t you,” you pouted, smile creeping around the corners of your mouth.

 

Jonghyun chuckled. “She never shuts up about you,” he said with a wink, and off he went to line up with the rest of the party waiting at the head of the aisle.

 

As you hear those tell-tale notes signal your rapidly approaching descent down the rose-laiden aisle, you looked up to see Amber in the most incredible white tuxedo. She was even wearing a black, glittery bow tie, and you laughed to yourself, remembering that you were about to marry the biggest dork in the world. Her hair was gelled back, with the exception of one unruly wave framing her face. Whether it was from insoles or the realization of the moment, Amber was the tallest you had ever seen her.  Her grin stretched from ear to ear, a grin so stunning it was infectious. Putting on a goofy grin of your own, you put one foot in front of the other to meet your other half. You could hardly tear your eyes away from her beautiful burnished brown eyes that drowned you in love and affection. The rest was all a blur. If you remember nothing else, the twinkle in Amber’s eye as you took her hand will stay with you to the grave.

…

“I now pronounce you Mrs. And Mrs.,” announced the officiator. “You may both kiss the bride.”

 

Time is a construct, and never had that been more apparent than right now, in this moment, with this perfect kiss. You leaned into Amber, hands finding their way to their favorite places on her waist and neck. Amber mirrored these memorized movements, pulling you in as close as humanly possible. It felt like every other kiss, and yet, it feels like something new. Like the beginning of something unseen. You couldn’t really put your finger on it, but you sure as hell could taste it. It tasted like hope, happiness, and home, like everything you’d ever wanted and all that you already had. This kiss, this symbol of unity, knitted you two together in ways that you’re weren’t even aware of yet. It would be this kiss that you will find yourself returning to again and again, years after the newlywed stage has come and gone.

 

After what seems like an eternity, you both came up for air, bodies glued to each other but red painted across your faces. The crowd cheered and applauded, for what you didn’t understand, but you know it’s just what people do at weddings.

 

As you walked hand in hand with your new wife, everything suddenly felt right in the world. As it should, really, because love is love, and no one has the right to take that away from anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, so how was this? I don't see myself ever getting married, but this idea was too amazing to pass up. I hope you all enjoyed it, and please, leave some feedback below! (And yes, I did change to SM character from the first chapter to be Jonghyun because I liked him better for this role ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Amber is my female UB and I would date her on the spot. This is a fantasy day for me, plus this was a prompt fill. Feedback appreciated!


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